I have decided to address a story that is developing in Anytown USA. The venue is a local gym for adult men and women.
Reporter: Why are teenage boys allowed to compete in pre-teen boy games in Anytown?
Mayor: They are not. The only boys who can compete in pre-teen sports are those who identify as pre-teen.
Reporter: But I just witnessed what is obviously a teenager competing in a pre-teen event.
Mayor: Your perception is not determinative. We spoke to the boy you are talking about, and he says he is pre-teen.
Reporter: But it is obvious that teenage boys are bigger and stronger than pre-teen boys.
Mayor: That may be true, but it is also true that there are pre-teen boys of various sizes.
Reporter: This is crazy. We already have sports for teenage boys, so why the need for them to compete with pre-teens?
Mayor: They are not. The real issue is who determines who a teenager is.
Reporter: That’s easy. Birth certificates settle this issue.
Mayor: Birth certificates simply prove the age that someone was assigned at birth.
Reporter: Are you implying that is not enough evidence?
Mayor: You don’t get it. There is a spectrum of age groupings. Quite frankly, it is entirely possible for someone to consider himself to be younger, or older, than the age assigned at birth.
Reporter: If this continues, there will be no pre-teen sports programs left.
Mayor: This misses the point. The government has no right to tell anyone what sex or age someone is. We live in a free country, and we need to respect the autonomy, and conscience rights, of everyone. We also believe in being inclusive, letting everyone compete according to the sex and age they identify with.
Reporter: Does this apply to occupations as well?
Mayor: What do you mean?
Reporter: Can someone claim to hold a certain job even if it appears to outside observers that he is lying?
Mayor: You are being argumentative.
Reporter: Not at all. I am simply following your logic. From this day forward I will consider myself to be Mayor of Anytown USA.
Mayor: But I am the mayor.
Reporter: Not anymore. You were elected. My self-identification matters more. And guess what? You’re fired.
Mayor: This is outrageous.
Reporter: By the way, I have also decided to identify as a woman. Can you tell me where the ladies shower room is? Your wife just entered.
